One of the more challenging aspects of addiction is the addicted persons perceived understanding of how others perceive them.  Shame often accompanies addiction…maybe more than often. The question, why don’t you just stop? Demonstrates to the addicted person that clearly there is a gap in the understanding of what we are dealing with here. This gap further alienates the addicted person. They often feel absolutely alone, even when with others. So… they further isolate, which generally fuels the addition and makes it stronger.

They often feel absolutely alone, even when with others. So… they further isolate, which generally fuels the addiction and makes it stronger.

Something to think about:The addicted were once children who held hopes and dreams like everyone else. As Everlast once sang in their song What It’s Like, “You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start”.
Does that matter? Does it matter if you are addicted and you were brought up under very challenging circumstances vs having a very healthy solid start? Being born to addicted, neglectful parent(s), who perhaps raise you in very challenging circumstances may make simply surviving be your initiation into the world. For those that were brought up with love, privilege, healthy attention, your initial focus is likely very different.

And yet, addiction weaves its way through all social classes, states, cities, neighborhoods. It is in church and out on the street. It is in community colleges and ivy league. It resides with the simple and the complicated. The talented and the challenged. The top, middle and bottom of perceived social ladders.

Addiction has one very common characteristic. That those that become addicted, be it from poor choices, life circumstances, prescription medicine, familial influences, peer pressure…etc.…those that become addicted act like addicts. It does not matter how they became addicted, what matters is that they are. And once they are, they act like addicts.

It does not matter how they became addicted, what matters is that they are,  and once they are, they act like addicts. 

They try to hide what they do. They try to justify and rationalize what they do. They try to minimize what they do. They minimize the consequences of what they do and the damage that it causes. They are challenged in controlling their emotions. What they say and how they say it. What they do and how they do it. They lie. They try to control it. They find that they can’t. Or if they can…for a while…they do, until they convince themselves that this time will be different. And the cycle starts again. The similarities far outweigh the differences for those that find themselves addicted. This is important information for those that cannot figure out “what happened”. Addiction happened and the result is an addict. So, in this case, Everlast (love that song btw) is incorrect.

~Mark Sadler~
Founder, Top Of The World Ranch